dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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