Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
