I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
