worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
