i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
