and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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