Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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