Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
