I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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