if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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