Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
