He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
