best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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