Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
