well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
