Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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