I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize