Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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