she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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