if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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