i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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