I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
