I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
