you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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