I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So apparently I’m into choking now
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