Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
