are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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