You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
