i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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