I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
