We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
