fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he shaved USA in his pubs
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
