I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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