I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
