her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
