dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize