I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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