He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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