I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize