Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
