Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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