Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
