i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
