lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
