You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
