What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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