Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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