Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize