i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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