Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
