I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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