Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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