I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my shit smells like andre
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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