Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize