I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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